1.03 "In The Dark"

-"How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing?  No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair! Never the hair!  But there must be someway I can show my appreciation. No, helping those in need's my job, - and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough! I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so…  Say no more. Evil's still afoot! And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair-gel that I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away!"
- "Go on with you. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way. - The ring of Amarra - a visit from your old pal Spike, - and, oh yeah, - your gruesome, horrible death."
- "Angel. I believe you have something I'm looking for - a shiny, little bauble?"
-"Why? Because you are vampire detective now? What's next? Vampire cowboy? Vampire fireman? Oh, vampire ballerina."
-"Hey, I had a plan!"
-"A good plan. Smart. Carefully laid out. - But I got bored.  All that watching, waiting, - my legs started to cramp. Enough with the hit'n'quip. Just tell me were the damn ring is."
- "Cordelia. You look smashing. Did you lose weight?"
- "I'll get that ring. This isn't over until one of us is a pile of dust, mate."
-"Did anyone ever tell you you were a real buzz-kill, mate?"
- "Caught me fair and square, White Hat. - I guess there is nothing to do now but to go quietly and pay my debt to society."
- "I maybe a slow learner…"
-"But eventually I learn."
- "Marcus is an expert. Some say artist, but I've never been comfortable with labels. - He's a bloody king of torture, he is. Humans, demons, - politicians, makes no difference.  Some say he invented several of the Classics, - but he won't tell me which ones. - beneath the cool exterior, you'll find he is rather shy. - Except with kids. You like kids, don't you Marcus? - Well, likes to eat. and other nasty things."
- "Annoying isn't it? Still attached."
-"Do you two need to be alone, or can we go on to the ouchy part?"
- "Yeah, and with a Slayer no less. How is that for perversion?"
-"Right, vampire with a soul. Cursy-cursed to walk the earth trying to do good. That's not going to be a problem, is it?"
-"Souls, fingers, toes… Let's get chopping, will you? I want my damn ring!"
- "Someone's having shish kabob."
-"Why do you keep asking him that? And why do you keep playing that bleeding Brahms?"
- "Yeah? Personally I prefer his older funnier symphonies myself. - LOOK I WANT MY RING BACK!  If I don't get it pretty soon, I'm going to stake me old Sire right here and now!"
- "*You* get it for me."
-"I believe he does."
-"You think? Because I'm not the one chained to the ceiling with hot pokers in my side,"
-"Oh, good Lord, why didn't I think of…? Oh, wait half a mo', I did. I hired a guy who doesn't care about the ring, or anything else on God's green earth except taking blokes apart one piece at a time. - It's called addiction, Angel. We all have it. - I believe yours is named Slutty the vampire Slayer. Thank you! - Speaking of little Buff, I ran into her recently. Your name didn't come up. Although she has been awful busy jumping the bones of the first lunk-head that came along. Good-looking fellow - used her shamelessly. - She is cute when she is hurting, isn't she?"
-"I think I will go get a bit of fresh air - leave you two kids to it. Now that is music!"
-"If I was a ring, where would I be? - - Well, this is fun. - But it's going to get old real fast."
- "Cordelia. Love the hair."
-"What is it with you good guys running in packs? Who is this one then?"
-"Ooh, the Mick's got spine! Maybe I'll snap it in two."
-"You'll be dead before that arrow leaves the bow. -Now where was I? Bloody tired of looking for that ring. I think you two should take over now,"
-"Angel, um - tall brooding guy, caveman brow? - He's having the living hell tortures out of him. And you know how stubborn he can be, he might die before he gives up the ring. Why don't you two find it real fast and give it to me. I'll let Angel go."
- "To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase: 'duh!' But you have until sundown to save him. You'll find me behind Peterson's Fishery between Seward and Westminster. -Don't be late."
-"Now, now, staking the torturer is strictly prohibited."
-"Easy, fella, still need that ring.  Now you've made him mad. Wouldn't want to be in your chains."
-"Well, what's say I'll grab a pair of needle-nose pliers and give a hand?
-"So - where is my ring?"
-"And suddenly I'm so painfully bored. Time runs short, children. Give me that ring as if Angel's life depended on it."
-"He is still alive I think. In one piece was never part of the deal."
-"Lucy, I'm home."
-"hey, hey! A deal's a deal."
- "And our deal was for the ring. You've wasted quiet enough of my time, so I'd really like it - NOW!"
- "Come on. You don't really thin that we're going to do that, do you?"
-"Where is the ring? - Bloody hell."
-"Son of a bitch! - I do the work, - I do the digging, - fight off a Slayer, - drive to LA, fire the help, - and what do I get? - ROYALLY SCREWED, is what! - Well that cinches it. No more partners. From now on I'm my own man. A lone wolf. Sole survivor. Look out, here comes Spike! The baddest mother… Ahh! I really hope they kill each other."