2.03 School Hard

Home, sweet home.
Willkommen zuhause.

You were there? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
Du warst da? Ja natürlich! Wäre jeder Vampir, der das behauptet, wirklich bei der Kreuzigung dabei gewesen, wäre es wie Woodstock gewesen. Ich war in Woodstock. Das war echt abgefahren. Ich hab einen Hippie ausgesaugt und war danach völlig breit.

So. Who do you kill for fun around here?
Wen tötet man hier zur Freude?

A lot faster than Nancy-boy there.
Schneller als dieser Warmduscher dort.

Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag! There was this one Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion, and...Drusilla. You shouldn't be walking around. You're weak.
Ich habe schon einige erlegt. Aber ich will nicht angeben. Ach was, ich liebe es. Es gab diese Jägerin während der Boxerbewegung...Drusilla. Du solltest nicht rausgehen, du bist noch schwach.

We're getting along.
Wir vertragen uns.

Yeah. He's the big noise in these parts. Anointed, and all that.
Ja, hier gibt er den Ton an. Gesalbt und so.

Me and Dru, we're movin' in. Now. Any of you want to test who's got the biggest wrinklies 'round here... step on up. I'll do your Slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from tryin' anything behind my back. Deal?
Dru und ich sind mit von der Partie. Jeder, der schärfere Zähne zu haben glaubt, möge vortreten. Ich kümmere mich um die Jägerin, und du lässt keine Intrigen gegen mich zu. Abgemacht?

So. How 'bout this Slayer? Is she tough?
Was ist also mit dieser Jägerin? Ist sie von der harten Sorte?

And you got something a whole lot better.

Darling, are you going to eat something?

You nearly died in Prague. Idiot mob. This is the place for us. The Hellmouth will restore you, put color in your cheeks, metaphorically speaking, and in a few week's time...

And then, God, this town will burn.

St. Vigeous is coming up. Should be a party.

Never happen. Alright. I'll go up and get chanty with the fellas, but you got to do me one favor. Eat something.

What can I say? I couldn't wait.
Was soll ich sagen? Ich konnte nicht länger warten.

Nobody gets out! Especially the girl!
Hier bleiben! Besonders die Kleine!

You don't know?! I'm a veal kind of guy. You're too old to eat. But not to kill. I feel better.
Du weißt es nicht? Ich ziehe Kalbfleisch vor. Du bist mir zu alt zum Fressen. Aber nicht zum töten. Mir gehts schon besser.

Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kittyyy. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in.

Are you getting a word picture here?

Someone's in the ceeeeeiling!

Use your head.

You! Come with me!

Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?
Die Jägerin schon gesehen?

Do people still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!
Sie fallen immer wieder drauf rein. Wirklich zum Totlachen!

I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age.

No, you never were. So, why're you so scared of this Slayer?

Yeah. Time was you would've taken her out in a heartbeat. Now look at you. I bet this, uh, tortured thing is an act, right? You're not... housebroken?

You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!
Glaubst du, du kannst mich reinlegen? Du warst mein Herr, mein Guru.

Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom! Come on, people! This isn't a spectator sport!
Wir nicht! Nicht Dämonen! Ich glaub's nicht. Du Verräter!

Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe girl.
Ene mene muh und tot bist du. Ich riece das Blut eines jungen Mädchens.

I just like them. They make me feel all manly.

The last Slayer I killed... she begged for her life.

Now, that hurt!
Das tat weh!

Women!
Weiber!

A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
Eine Jägerin mit Familie und Freunden. Das war mit Sicherheit nicht in der Broschüre!

I, uh... I offer penance.
Das habe ich, und ich will Buße tun.

I was rash, and if I had to do it all over again...Who am I kidding? I would do it exactly the same, only I'd do this...
Ich war voreilig, und wenn ich es noch mal tun müsste... Wen verarsche ich hier? Ich würde es wieder genauso tun, nur diesmal...

From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual...and a little more fun around here.
Von nun an, gibt es weniger Rituale und n bisschen mehr Spaß!

Let's see what's on TV.
Lass uns ein bisschen fernsehen.


2.06 Halloween

Here it comes. Rewind that. Let's see that again.

She's tricky. Baby likes to play.

You see that? The way she stakes him with that thing? That's what's called resourceful. Rewind it again.

C'mere, poodle.

Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why I've got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again.

Really? Did my pet have a vision?

Come on, talk to Daddy. This thing that makes the Slayer weak? When is it?

Tomorrow's Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween.

Well! This is just... neat!

Do you hear that, my friends?

Somewhere out here is the tenderest meat you've ever tasted, and all we have to do is find her first!

Look at you. Shaking. Terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb.

I love it.


2.07 Lie To Me

Darling! I heard a funny thing just now. Lucius tells me that you went out on a hunt the other night.

You, um, meet anyone? Anyone interesting? Like Angel?

Yeah. So...What might you guys have talked about, then? Old times? Childhood pranks? It's a little off, you two so friendly, him being the enemy and all that.

The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one.

Oh, I'm sorry baby. I'm a bad, rude man. I just don't like you goin' out, that's all. You are weak. Would you like a new bird? One that's not dead?

Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Yeah, I know who I am, too. So what?

You've got a real death wish. It's almost interesting.

Oh, this is great. This'll be very useful. So, how did you find me?

Well, I don't go much for tradition.

Well?

What? Oh. You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you.

I've known you for two minutes, and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you livin' forever. Can I eat him now, love?

When we get there, everybody spread out. Two men on the door, first priority's the Slayer, everything else is fair game, and let's remember to share, people. Are you sure you're up for this?

And a special one you'll have. Lucius! Bring the car around.

Take them all. Save the Slayer for me.

Everybody STOP!

It's gonna be alright, baby. Let them go!

Uh, where's the doorknob?

We're stuck in a basement.

She's not stuck in the basement.

Yes, I suppose you did.


2.09 What's My Line I

Read it again.

Debase, the beef, canoe.

Why does that strike me as not right?

Give us some peace, would you? Can't you see I'm working?

Oh, I'm sorry, kitten. It's just this manuscript. Supposed to hold your cure, but it reads like gibberish. E-even Dalton here, the big brain, he can't make heads or tails of it.

Oh, forgive me! You know I can't stand to see you like this. We're runnin' out of time. It's that bloody Slayer! Whenever I turn around she's muckin' up the works.

Well. Come on, now. Enlighten me.

Then MAKE IT A LANGUAGE! Isn't that what a transcriber does?!

I want the cure.

Why not? Some people find pain very inspirational.

The key? You mean this book is in some kind of code?

Is that where we'll find this key?

I'll send the boys, pronto!

I'll dance with you, pet.

On the Slayer's grave!

This is it then?

Once you're well again, we'll have a coronation down Main Street, and invite everyone, and drink for seven days and seven nights.

You don't say? Trouble?! She's the gnat in my ear! The gristle in my teeth! She's the bloody thorn in my BLOODY SIDE!

We gotta do something. We'll never complete your cure with that bitch breathing down our necks. I need to bring in the big guns. They'll take care of her once and for all.

The Order of Taraka.

No, I think it's just enough kill.

No worries. We're close to decoding the manuscript. We just need a bit more time.

By George, I think he's got it! The key to your cure, ducks. The missing bloody link, it was...


2.13 Surprise

Just put it on the table... near the other gifts.

Are you dead set on this, pet? Wouldn't you rather have your party in Vienna?

Yeah. It's just I've had it with this place. Nothing ever comes off like it's supposed to.

I remember, sweet. But Sunnydale's cursed for us. Angel and the Slayer see to that.

Let's try something different with the flowers then.

Just a peek, love.

They're for the party.

Do you like it, baby?

Why is that?

It was a bad turn, man. She can't have her fun without the box.

You might give him a chance to find your lost treasure. He is a wanker, but he's the only one we've got with half a brain. If he fails, you can eat his eyes out of the sockets for all I care.

Look what I have for you, ducks.

Ho, ho, ho. What's that, mate?

Yeah. What of it? Do I have to remind you that we're the ones who brought you here?

What's with the bringing? I thought you could just zap people.

What? What is it?

Well, well. Look what we have here. Crashers.

Yeah, that'll work. Now say 'pretty please'.



2.14 Innocence

I'm not happy, pet. Angel and the Slayer are still alive. They know where we are, they know about the Judge. We should be vacating.

What's Big Blue up to anyway? He just sits there.

Yeah. It's interesting to me that 'preparing' looks a great bit like sitting on your ass. When do we destroy the world already?

So let's take some. I'm bored.

Dru?

Dru? What is it? Dru!

Darling... Do you see something?

Are we feeling better, then?

You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day.

Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?

You don't give up, do you?

Uh, yeah. Angel, um... look over your shoulder.

Hurts, doesn't it?

Don't just stand there. Burn him.

What the hell is going on?

Clean? You mean, he's...

Is it really true?

No more of this 'I've got a soul' crap?

This is great! This is so great!

I've got to tell you, it made me sick to my stomach seeing you being the Slayer's lap dog.

Oh, who cares? What matters is now he's back! Now it's four against one, which are the kind of odds I like to play.

Well, she's in the world, so that should work out.

What do you mean?

You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?

So you didn't kill her then.

Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know.

She'd better not get in our way.

I do.

About time.

Have fun.

I won't be in this chair forever.

What happens if your girlfriend shows up?



2.16 Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered

Fancy it, pet?

Nothing but the best for my gir...

I'll get it.

You would do well to worry less about Dru and more about that Slayer you've been tramping around with.

Why don't you rip her lungs out? It might make an impression.

It doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs



2.17 Passion

I won't have you feeding me like a child, Dru.

No, we weren't.

Have you forgotten that you're a bloody guest in my bloody home?

That's enough!

Dru, what is it, pet?

Are you insane?! We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in the friends' beds.

What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer!

Uh-uh. No fair going into the ring unless he tags you first.



2.19 I Only Have Eyes For You

It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.

Well, our old place was just fine till you went and had it burned down.

Very funny, mate.

Yeah, you're a giver.

What about your pretty dress, sweet? It'll get all dirty.

Fortunately, nobody cares what you like, mate.

What gate, pet? What do you see?

Big deal. He won't do anything. Our man Angel here likes to talk but he's not much for action. All hat and no cat.

Really?

You might want to let up. They say when you've drawn blood, you've exfoliated.

Oh, I will.

Sooner than you think.



2.22 - Becoming Part II

Now, you hold on a second!

Hey! White flag here. I quit.

You want to go around, pet, I'll have a gay old time of it. You want to stop Angel... we're gonna have to play this a bit differently.

I'm talking about your ex, pet. I'm talking about putting him in the bloody ground.

He's got your Watcher. Right now, he's probably torturing him.

I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world.

We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real...passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?

I want Dru back. I want it like it was before he came back. The way she acts around him...

I wasn't in on that raiding party.

I can't fight them both alone, and neither can you!

And I'm all you've got.

I'm just gonna kill this guy.

Oh, right.

What, your mum doesn't know?

Right. She plays the, the triangle.

Drums, yeah. She's, uh, hell on the old skins, you know.

Well, I sing.

One of Angel's boys.

Yeah. He won't get a chance to tattle on us now.

Um... you hit me with an ax one time. Remember? Uh, 'get the hell away from my daughter.'

Simple. You let me and Dru skip town, I help you kill Angel.

There's no deal without Dru.

Dru bagged a Slayer? She didn't tell me! Hey, good for her! Though not from your perspective, I suppose.

Look. This deal works for me one way. Full stop. Me and Dru for Angel.

I'll take her out of the country. You'll never hear from us again, I bloody well hope.

Now, now, don't let's lose our temper.

Look, you cut him up, you'll never get your answers.

Right about the time you became so pig-headed. You have your way with him, you'll never get to destroy the world. And I don't fancy spending the next month trying to get librarian out of the carpet. There are other ways.

Hmm. Drusilla? Sweetheart?

Do you want to play a game?

Uh, but what if he's lying?

Uh, Drusilla...

We are finished here, ducks.

Painful, isn't it?

I don't want to hurt you, baby.

Doesn't mean I won't.

Sorry, baby. Wish there was another way.

God, he's gonna kill her.