3.08 "Lovers Walk"

-Home, sweet... home.
-And more / Much more than this / I did it my way
-Drusilla! I'm home!
-Why did you do it, baby? Why did you leave me? We were happy here.
YOU...  STUPID...  WORTHLESS...  BITCH!  Look what you've done to me.
-Yeah, you. You think I'm afraid of you?
-We were happy! You brainwashed her. I could just...
-Yeah, I'll show *you* who's a cool guy. You're goin' down.
-Whoa!
-This is just too much.
-Yeah. I need a curse.
-A curse! Y'know, something nasty. Boils. I wanna give him boils all over his face. You know, dripping pustules. -Let's really go for the gusto here.
-Leprosy! Alright, a spell that makes his parts fall off. That sounds proper.
-Forget the book.
-I just got a better idea.
-I need to borrow the little girl. You don't mind, do you?
-Threatening me? That's not nice.  We're all gonna be very best friends.
-A spell. For me. You're gonna do a spell for me.
-A *love* spell! Are you brain dead?  I'm gonna get what's mine. What's mine.  Teach her to walk out on me.
-What are you staring at?
-You can do it, right? You can make Dru love me again? Make her crawl!
 -What are you talking about, trying? You'll do it!
 -You lie to me, and I'll shove this through your face! You want that?
-Right through to your BRAIN!
-She wouldn't even kill me.
-She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?
-It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a *chaos* demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting.
-She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!
-I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel?
-Mmm. That smell... Your neck...
-I haven't had a woman in weeks.
-Well, unless you count that shopkeeper.
Alright.  Get started.
-Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him and you try again.
-What?
-You've got one, though, at home?
-Where?
-Hello, Joyce.
-So I'm strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she's making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said, 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know.
-She is. She's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her.
-No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally.  You got any of those little marshmallows?
-Yeah. You're not invited.
-Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe.
-You're a very bad man.
-Yeah? You and what army?
- I do what I please.
-Willow!
-You do me now, you'll never find the little witch.
-Him, too.
-Doesn't work like that, peaches. And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that.  Your friend's gonna work a little magic for me. She does my spell, I let them both go.
-Well, you and your great poof here wanna tag along, that's fine. But you get in my way, and *you* kill your friends.
-Look, I just need a few supplies, and then I'll take you to... Oh, God.
-Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible.  Oh, God. I wish I was dead.
-Hey! Back off!
-Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?
-Oh, God.
-We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times.
-You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that only made her bite harder.
-Here's your list.
-I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.
-The spell's gonna get her back.
- Shut your gob!
-SHUT UP!
-What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me.  I'm nothing without her.
-Yeah. You're one to talk.
-The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
-Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
-You're *not* friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...  blood screaming inside you to work its will.
-*I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it.
- Hmm! Eye of rat.
-What's your hurry?
-I'll be out of your life in a few short hours. No trouble at all.
-Lenny. How have you been?
-Is that right?
-This pissant used to work for me.
- I die, your chums die.
-This should be a kick.
-Soft?
-Well, then, let's give baby a taste.
-Baby like his supper? Baby like his supper?
- Why doesn't baby have a nap?
- Now, that was fun.
-Oh, don't *tell* me that wasn't fun. Oh, God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence.  Really puts things in perspective.
- Oh, yeah. You two. Just friends. No danger there.
-Oh, sod the spell.  Your friends are at the factory.
- I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again.
- Love's a funny thing.
-I plan each charted course / Each little step along the highway / And more, much more than this
-I did it my way